SQUARE ONE

It's been so long since I started writing again. Maybe im too busy? lack of motivation? lack of focus? I guess. I really don’t know. I usually write stuff whenever (pick your choice)

a.) im excited

b.) I feel like writing

c.) im moved

d.) im dead bored

The answer is.. NONE OF THE ABOVE. As stupid as it sounds, but I write whenever im extremely sad, confused and hurt. There's just something in those negative feelings that fills my mind and comforts my wandering soul. Emo-much? na-ah.. Like what I've said in my previous entry (check "happy" birthday! below), expressing myself is something that I'm not really good at. But poof! This is so effin weird! FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, I'm now creating this entry because I'M HAPPY. Not really the Mary Poppin-singing-under-rainbows-and-butterflies type.. but it's some kind of "happy-because-I am-loved-and-I am-at-peace type". Got it? LOL.

I am at peace.

I am boundaryless.

I am happy.

On this very second, I really could not think of anything I want to wish for. CONTENTMENT I guess. I've been very blessed with a loving family. My mom, dad and my sister . I could not ask for more. They've showered me with much L♥ve and hapiness more than I could handle. Gave me TONS of toys & clothes when I was young, believed in my abilties as I grew up and still SPOILS me every single day of my life up to this very moment. LOL.

I have wonderful bestestbestfriends this world could ever have. They're my rock, my blood and my trusty tube of lipgloss in this journey. I don’t know what to do without them. I'd be weak. I'd be scared. I learned new things, values and lessons from them. Life would be a TOTAL BORE if I haven't met them. Thinking of losing them is a big heartbreak for me. I love them as much as I love my family because they're family too.

I love my job. *sighs* really! I LOVE IT! LOL. Again, first time in the history of my life I felt peace of mind and fulfillment in what I'm doing. It pays righteously, still has the most humane expectations and bearable workload (plus the fact that I could even do this thing while im at work. YES I AM AT WORK. LOL). I am robot no more! Isn't it great?!! I felt my pulse pound and the blood rushing through my veins after 3 damn years. This job/career thing that I'm doing now is not really the one I dreamt of when I was a little girl. But oh well, guess we need to wake up the l'il princess. LOL. I still love it seriously. Many people out there would be more than willing to kick my pretty ass and take over my place. but HELL NO baby! This girl's got style. LOL. Coz what I have here is THEIR DREAM COME TRUE. MY PRIVILEGE.

..Those are some things that's rockin' my world right now.. really can't tell how long this tingly feeling would stay. But who knows? Maybe myhapiness is really here to stay. Maybe I'm just too damn busy, unmotivated or unfocused to realize it. I guess. I really don’t know. Pick your choice.